Friday, July 4, 2008

Rough spots

I have spent hours over the last 22 months marveling at how smooth the bottom of the girls feet are. Fresh skin. Hardly touches the ground or scratchy cement. The years of callouses, corns and dry skin are well in the future. Except tonight when comforting Harper after an 11 pm grumpus cry, I noticed just a touch of a rough area just at the ball of her feet. The pool cement. Curses. Robbing me of my babies.

Parenting has felt like high highs and low lows lately. I have been praying to God to help me not yell. When they put shoes in their mouth. After I tell them not to. When they grab their sister's foot in the stroller. And won't stop. And I have no (good) way to create a consequence. But there have been moments of sweetitude. When Harper is crying for juice incessantly (and I am repeatedly explaining she already drank her juice for the day) Lucy will hand hers over for a sip. When Lucy is crying for me to come find Coco with her (I don't know where she is, you're the last one who had her) Harper will bring it to her.

The other day I was enjoying a few hours to myself and went running around the lake. And it felt great to run w/out a leash around my waist and my hands propelling two leg-grabbing toddlers. But then I saw all the other moms pushing their strollers and I felt.... sad. And then panicky. OMG. The girls are going to be in MDO 8 hours a week in the fall. Maybe it is a mistake. Maybe they (me)aren't ready.

Their babyness is slipping away before my eyes. Their legs look long in the toddler swing and in their strollers. And then there are those rough spots. At least I was rocking and cuddling her when I noticed. Thank goodness for whatever it was that woke her up and let me have that. Because tomorrow I may be taking deep breaths to not yell at her to stop touching the floor in a public restroom or something else equally annoying/disgusting.
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2 comments:

RG Mama said...

This post (almost) makes me want to run in, grab my girls out of bed and hug them a little too hard. I was noticing the long legs in the swing the other day, too.

July 5, 2008 at 6:21:00 PM PDT
BB said...

I could really get on a soap box with this one and tell you that's why your mother's tell you "no you may not get a tattoo or a ring in your navel or nose". I took such good care of that perfect body and skin and I don't want you screwing it up or that you can't look back only forward and look forward to the next plateau or new moment in their life. Or I could tell you about being physically sick every day for 2 weeks when Greg started public high school and sitting in the car and crying tears of utter
pain and happiness all the way to Charlottesville when we took him to UVa and sobbing uncontrolably as we drove away leaving him at that wonderful place but knowing all the time our life as a family would never be the same. AND it wasn't but at the same time such happiness that he was in a wonderful place and he was so happy and in so many ways opening doors to make our life and his better and once your family is in love with each other, each new beginning brings so much joy that you only remember the past as the
enormous joy of watching them grow up and loving who they have become.
And in my case, I have been blessed beyond conprehension because my children are "THE BEST" and I am so proud and happy with who they have become and I have
"THE MOST SPECTACULAR" memories of
their growing up.

OK so enough - I hope you will read this and remember it for the future when I am long gone and you are at graduation or their wedding and you feel the same way.

July 10, 2008 at 9:16:00 AM PDT

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