Needy

The girls have seem particularly needy lately. Annoyingly so. Like, pick me up now even though you are carrying a load of laundry with one hand and trying to clip the cat toenails with the other. The last few weeks have been tough. I think they are testing me and while Daddy was gone I was only getting Cs. You know you aren't doing so well when you drop the F bomb in front of them.

I think I turned a corner with a change in my perspective. I realize how much they have changed in the 19 short months they have been here. I looked back at old pictures. Harper and Lucy are still in those pictures, but are sort of caricatures of the toddlers I have now.

Right now I know them fully. I can tell who's who with one "momma" or even when they brush up against my leg. I know their toenails and how their breath smells. In fact, I know I'm a full on mommy because I like their stinky breath and sweaty feet. I can get kisses and hugs almost whenever I want (or don't want). They like me right now. I need to cherish this. Because one day they won't want me.

One day they will tell me to go sit back on the bench at the playground (as I witnessed one preschooler tell her mom today). One day they'll shut the door in my face or have me drop them off at the roller rink 2 blocks away. And when that day comes, they probably won't want me to pick them up and smother them with kisses. Their sorority sisters will totally haze them for that.

It makes me wonder. Do moms still want to snuggle their 30 year olds? Or do they love them in a different way. I can't bear to think of me not having the strong physical bond I have now with H&L. (Who's the needy one?) But then again, the conversations with the over 12 set is probably a heck of a lot more interesting.