I am realizing that before I know it I am going to have toddlers with their own opinions and agendas. Lucy has already learned "no" and says "uh oh" before dropping food on the floor.
I figure I should bone up on some discipline and toddler behavior books. Looking for a kind, gentle appproach (at least for now) as I can tend to be more on the hardass side when it comes to discipline.
Experienced Moms- can you recommend any books?
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i've been searching for the same thing...guidance on toddler discipline. although discipline sounds so tough, more like how to create appropriate boundries before i have three toddlers taking over the household.
i haven't had too much luck yet. someone recommended 'love and logic'. the basic premise made sense to me - allow children to experience the consequences of their actions. They say letting your child leave the house without a coat may seem drastic, but it is a bigger issue if they don't learn from their consequences and continue to make bad choices when they are teens and the stakes are high. it didn't seem overly helpful for the toddler age.
on pacis, it actually recommended that you say 'you are hassling my eyeballs' when you think they are too old for the pacis. does anyone else think this is a bad idea? it seems a bit selfcentered to me. and i don't want to say anything that i will eventually hear back. mommy you are hasseling my eyeballs. ugh.
let me know if you find anything interesting.
I got the same reco from the AMOM group so far. I got the book, but it sounds like the principles more than specifics are what I'll look for...
The Happiest Toddler theory sounded ODD.
I've been watching this post, waiting for some recommendations... but since none are forthcoming, I'll give my own.
I did skim through Happiest Toddler on the Block and it is goofy. Then I read The Emotional Life of the Toddler by Alicia Lieberman. They both kind of say the same thing, but it's not really necessary to talk to your child like a caveman to get her to listen. I preferred Lieberman's approach. I even got my husband to read this book. After protesting for a while, he picked it up and soon he was poking me and saying, hey, listen to this!
The main thing I got from both of them was to acknowledge what your child is saying so she knows you understand her. I tried it right away on my 2 year old and I was stunned by how it stopped a tantrum and we were able to move on.
Also good is "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish. I learned stuff in there that can apply to all relationships, not just parent-child relationships.
I also read "I'm Three Years Old!" by Jerri Wolfe. I didn't realize when I bought it (on-line) that it was told in the voice of a 3-year-old, but it is actually insightful.
Note that I have an actual 2 year old while I'm reading these and none of this may apply to your 1 year olds. So maybe shelve this for a while and come back to it.
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